Suwannee Rising 2021

Idk I want more sultan meme pics like this one

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“hot chick” aka “human being” ?

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Hot chick as in hatchling raptor emerging from the egg.

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Perfect scenario is he shows up without a ticket and acts super cool like it’s no problem. He calls up Jake to get in and Jake answers “who?”. Sultan spends all weekend in a shitty Super 8 motel pretending to the raptors that there’s a totally legit reason he couldn’t make it

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Where’s that Sultan Home Alone gif at? That shit is gold

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ftfy

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Cocaine doesnt deserve to have to be used in the same sentense as The Sultan

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That is hilarious. I’m picturing him with $5,000 worth of pedals/amps and a floppy fedora at at his feet.

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“I help them make decisions, I am a consultant, or as Jake calls me The conSULTAN. I orchestrated a song they are working on. They demanded my band plays Summer Camp. That has NEVER happened before. If you touch my penis I will introduce you to the band. Now is your time to hop on the Soul Tan, baby, cause this soul train is leaving the station. THINK NATIONALLY!!”

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It’s like the scene in the Always Sunny jersey shore episode where they’re talking shit about that girl in the hospital and she says “you’re actually not that far off”

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I mean it is all based off of real quotes, so it is defintiely not far off

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And since it’s Florida, he gets stabbed over the pedal board which gets traded for $200 worth of flakka.

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Either that or he ends up huffing jankum off a broken guitar neck.

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I assume this involves shoving the guitar neck up his @ass and letting the poop fester for a few days

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I wouldn’t give him that much credit, jenkum is a long term play. No way he’s got the foresight to get a batch of shit’n’piss into the sun ahead of time.

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He tapped into the septic system at boondock studios and has been brewing his UM jenkem since recording the masterpiece that is Visionary Vortex.

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“…not only do I have the guitar neck, but I huff Jake and his family’s shit all the time.”

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Over quarantine some people got into sourdough starter ferments, some got into pickling, but maybe Sultan got into fermenting human shit. Actually not maybe…just yes…this is dash bort canon now.

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How long until KB realizes the untapped potential that is UM jenkum? It’s revolutionary. They’d be the first band to do it. It’ll make a great addition to his wiki.

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