What could’ve been
At Renewal I watched Billy Strings’ wife giving birth during Mountain Grass Unit’s set. I was just peaking on some 2ci. People were trying to get medical help, but they hadn’t arrived. Some other wookette claimed to be a midwife and was coaching the woman through this. Billy is standing there shirtless and spun like top, just making these weird sounds while he is crushing his beer can and spraying coors light all over everyone. He looked really anxious about the whole thing, grabbing his face and just making grunts and stuff.
The baby’s head starts to crown and the medics still haven’t arrived.
This is where it gets crazy…
It was so f****** dusty out there and the baby and all the surrounding fluids were immediately “muddified” by the blowing dirt. I mean, it’s f****** gross. All of a sudden, this f****** kid (probably 19 or 20) in his oversized neon, flat-brim LRG hat, runs up yelling “welcome to the party b****!” before he blows a huge plume of smoke right in the baby’s face! While the umbilical cord is still attached and s***!
The smell was unmistakeable, this baby had just been deemster’d.
He must have pulled the hit from a bong, b/c it was monstrous. The surrounding crowd dropped their jaws, and someone tackled the kid as he starts to run away. He didn’t make it more than 10ft and the he was probably blasting off about now.
Ally is clutching the dirty baby and trying to calm it. Though, strangely, the baby was not crying (tripping balls i guess?).
And while the dude is getting screamed at, Billy suddenly pounces into action. He jumps on the dude, and starts smashing said BMFS kid’s face with the crushed up beer can, of which he seemingly just can’t let go. The BMFS kid is kicking and trying to roll out of it and the Billy grabs the kid’s hair w/ one hand. he finally let the can go and shoves his other hand half way inside the guys mouth. He is pulling his mouth open and RIPS HIS CHEEK OPEN! repeat: rips his f****** CHEEK OPEN!
there is blood everywhere and the dude lets out this braveheart-like scream as he gets pulled off by the folks around him. Blood all over BMFS kid’s face, shirt and formerly fresh flat breezy. The cops/medics arrived about that time and took over the situation.
S*** was crazy as hell.
