Haven’t listened to UM in forever but holy shit I can’t believe this is real. This is fucking horrendous
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This was a really solid show - and my first since Jacksonville in Southern Oregon July 2024. It blows my mind I went 547 days without Umphrey’s in my life. Won’t happen again. I think the highlights of night one were the Fenced In jam and the 1999>HBB segue. Locked down most of a row in the balcony for this one (wish I would have gone early the next two nights but whatever still had fun even if an oversold Boulder Theater can be a giant pain in the ass) so had some good sight lights and a nice view of the lights.
There were parts of the night I was warming up to the LD (only seen 25 shows with him fwiw when I saw like 40ish Budney shows and around 200 Waful shows) but I still am not convinced he was the best option at the time. The lights are often distracting and too busy for my tastes. Like I’m trying to enhance my buzz not be confused as to why I’m having trouble focusing on the music because I’m being blinded by Factorbeams and my senses are overloaded. I’ll save my bitching about the LD anymore for another day and its own thread but thought I should mention some of my feelings since this was the only show I had a good spot for and could fully absorb what was happening on stage and in front of me.
Before the show I ate around 200mgs of THC and took like half a gel tab so around 60 mics I’d say of LSD. Did a little blow after the show at my homies house in Denver but did not snort anything during the concert. I was pretty locked in on the music and thought I made the right choices substance wise. I don’t really seek out drinking at shows but the other homie @WilliamNyeberg was in the house and bought me 3 or 4 beers so I definitely knocked a few back as the night progressed and felt it when I woke up but the juice was worth the squeeze. I hate having to piss wait in line and blacking out these days so having them brought to me made it easier to say yes. I’m kind of a chameleon with my substance use I just like to go with the flow. You drinking? Guess I’m drinking. We spacing on K? I guess we spacing! But crack is one I should turn down more often. The last time I went on a crack bender….[insert copy pasta here]
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Speaking of crack, my last crack bender was three years ago and when i smoke crack i like to really go the distance. i checked into a hotel with two cases of beer, a bottle of tequila, a carton of cigarettes, a couple of lighters, about an ounce of crack, two pipes, a handful of porn mags and a bottle of baby oil.
i rolled my suitcase into the elevator. right as the door was closing i realized that i’d forgotten something and jumped through the door. i hurried back to the front desk.
“i dont want any phone calls. also, can you make sure that the porn is not blocked on the tv.?”
the girl at the front desk looked at me like i was creep. she was right.
up the elevator, down the hall and into my room. i rushed inside, set everything out on the table and selected the 24 hour all-you-can-eat porn. it came on in the middle of anal juggernauts 12. there is nothing like that first hit of crack. i wish i could feel like that forever.
so for more than 24 hours i smoked crack, watched porn and drank tequila. i selected the 24 hour porn buffet again. more crack. more baby oil. as i’m jacking off i hear what sounds like the bed squeaking in the room next to me so i get up to investigate and press my ear up against the wall. it IS the bed squeaking, and this couple is going to town. this is great. this is better than tv porn so i grab the tequila with my free hand.
this guy is really giving her the business. her moaning gets louder and faster. they keep going and keep going. she is getting just pounded and i’m really into it. moaning and squeaking. moaning and squeaking. this goes on for a while and i’m loving it. this guy is my hero. i can’t believe he is lasting this long. when they’re done i’m going to go next door and shake his hand.
after what seemed like 30 or 40 minutes they’re still going but i’m exhausted and sit down in the chair to rest. i notice that i’ve gotten baby oil all over the wall. the hotel is probably going to charge me for that. so as i’m catching my breath i notice that they’re starting to wind down in the next room. my breathing slows as they slow down and vice versa. suddenly i realize, there is no one having sex in the next room. the moaning was me. the squeaking was just my nose whistling.
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Billy, 1999>HBB section of the show is getting a lot of play from me. Top notch UM.
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Was there even a jam in Bath? I can’t remember the last standard Bath like that.
Simple type 1, but it was pretty clean and tight.