This bit will never get old.
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Nothing like ending a vigorous 2 day work week in between 2-5 day weekends, with the return of streamable UM tonight. Let’s do dis.
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Heading down to the big city around 2. Should be drinking my first beer by 3 to kick these two nights off proper!
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Have a blast, Paddy!
Tonight is my 20th anniversary of my first UM show and also the first night I smoked weed. Going to be couch streaming and ripping bowls all night
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15th anniversary of my first UM show, and i was so high that I only remember the 2 covers being played.
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What a crazy 1 2 punch
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Umphrey’s is a gateway drug
More like crack. You know you shouldn’t, you do and it’s fun for like an hour, then you hate your life.
Sad to be missing this. Have fun peeps!
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my last UM bender was three years ago and when i listen to UM i like to really go the distance. i checked into a hotel with two cases of beer, a bottle of tequila, a carton of cigarettes, a couple of lighters, about an ounce of crack, two pipes, a handful of porn mags, a bottle of baby oil and a fresh nugs subscription.
i rolled my suitcase into the elevator. right as the door was closing i realized that i’d forgotten something and jumped through the door. i hurried back to the front desk.
“i dont want any phone calls. also, can you make sure that Umphreys YouTube channel is not blocked on the tv.?”
the girl at the front desk looked at me like i was creep. she was right.
up the elevator, down the hall and into my room. i rushed inside, set everything out on the table and selected the 24 hour UM metal jams playlist on YouTube. there is nothing like that first hit of UM. i wish i could feel like that forever.
so for more than 24 hours i smoked crack, listened to UM and drank tequila. i selected the 24 hour porn buffet again. more crack. more baby oil. as i’m jacking off i hear what sounds like the bed squeaking in the room next to me so i get up to investigate and press my ear up against the wall. it IS the bed squeaking, and this couple is going to town. this is great. this is better than tv porn so i grab the tequila with my free hand.
this guy is really giving her the business. her moaning gets louder and faster. they keep going and keep going. she is getting just pounded and i’m really into it. moaning and squeaking. moaning and squeaking. this goes on for a while and i’m loving it. this guy is my hero. i can’t believe he is lasting this long. when they’re done i’m going to go next door and shake his hand.
after what seemed like 30 or 40 minutes they’re still going but i’m exhausted and sit down in the chair to rest. i notice that i’ve gotten baby oil all over the wall. the hotel is probably going to charge me for that. so as i’m catching my breath i notice that they’re starting to wind down in the next room. my breathing slows as they slow down and vice versa. suddenly i realize, there is no one having sex in the next room. the moaning was me. the squeaking was just my nose whistling.
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Thanks to my brother and his friends on the way down to the Aragon asking if I want to smoke after we dropped my uncle off at ohare
I can see Mike saying this
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I’m an ape man I’m an ape ape man
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He’s a big fan of this copypasta
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As of 10am this morning there were at least 6 people lined up outside the Tab. Why
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[quote=“DiabetesCOLE, post:115, topic:10766”]
ape ape man
[/quote]
I woke up sick this morning, horrible sinus headache so I’m sitting tonight out. At least last night was awesome and I saw a lot of my friends.
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Aw man! Glad to see ya last night and hope ya get back to 100% quick
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just got in. Any good bars close?wife taking a quick nap at the Hyatt on peach tree
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